WHY CONSERVATIVES TAKE A NAP AFTER DRINKING COFFEE

This meme takes from Yuban commercials made in the early 60s that ran as a series until the early 80s on the sexist premise that a good wife better make her husband fresh tasty coffee. This meme makes fun of the absurdity of “anti-woke” coffee but is also making a little pun about how “non-binaries” would pick “non-beaneries.”

There have been national boycotts of Target, Bud Light and Disney by conservative groups who feel their traditional family values are being insulted by commercials and content that pander to the gay spectrum. Visualize Kid Rock shooting up Bud Light cans. Now conservatives have become a target demographic with companies that pander to them. And Rumble — the RightyHub of outrage porn — has figured out the best way to commodify the channel is ad-reads from its legion of podcast bro influencers.

And that means coffee, baby!

Russel Brand is quite a pitch man for all kinds of products on his show. He does the most animated and enthusiastic ad read for 1775 Coffee of any Rumble host.

Rumble are marketing products that formally had no political affiliation — like dog food and medicine — with the promise they are made by corporations that share the viewers’ conservative values. But how would you even know these companies are truly conservative? Budweiser have commercials that pander to liberals, but they also have commercials that pander to conservatives. They are willing to say anything they have to in order to sell their products, and these new companies who have found a right-wing target demographic are no different. Rumble is not the only company to do this, there are websites where you can buy the right-branded versions of all kinds of innocuous products.

And don’t they know the purpose of coffee is to wake you up? Describing coffee as anti-woke makes no sense. My personal preference for coffee is central and south American coffee, Colombian being my favorite. So when the coffee bags for 1775 and Black Rifle don’t say what country the coffee is from this makes me suspicious and hesitant to try. If I’m being sold French or Italian coffee it’s going to be too bitter for my taste. As a normie non-political coffee consumer I go for Safeway Select Colombian coffee, or whatever Latin brand is on sale.

OK it’s a simple joke and I’m sticking with it for the third time.

Maybe someone at Rumble saw my memes mocking anti-woke coffee because they recently changed the copy for 1775, saying it is a coffee brand that promotes free speech and comes from beans grown in Bolivia. Ok, well that’s a much less stupid pitch. You’re welcome, Rumble.

JOE ROGAN’S ALPHA MALE BRAND

Joe Rogan has been doing his version of this longer than Rumble has, and the Black Rifle Coffee Co. he pitches was on the market before 1775. But the products he is most enthusiastic about are pills and supplements that will MAKE YOU A MAN! He will very sincerely tell his guests about the importance of taking the right vitamins and then later pitch those same vitamins in ad-reads. Rogan is a macho “bro” brand — and this has more appeal to a conservative audience. The content of his show, which always had an anti-establishment flavor, has been drifting to the populist right. He even became the cherry on top of Trump’s “bro” podcast tour.

How much coordination is there between topics discussed on the show and his ad reads? On one episode Bill Burr was talking about how he likes to watch French movies, and Rogan tells him he can watch French Netflix if he sets his VPN to France. Then later in that episode there was an advertisement for a VPN harping on the feature that you can use it to watch internet shows only available oversees.

I had only heard of Black Rifle Coffee from Rogan’s podcast and have never ordered coffee online. Why bother when I can just get it at the store? I was curious though when I saw it on the coffee aisles at Safeway. But the price . . . 16.99 for a 12 ounce bag when the other brands are 8.99 to 10.99? It’s expensive being anti-woke I guess. People really hate Biden for all the inflation that has been happening on his watch. So let’s show those libs by paying through the nose for coffee.

This got be banned from the Consoom subReddit. Apparently they thought I was being serious and trying to push conservative politics. Libs can so literal. That’s a shame because I’m a fan of the Consoom message.

I posted the two memes above on the Joe Rogan subReddit and was ratioed by the users with zero likes and hundreds of mostly negative comments. They thought I was a Joe Rogan hater. I’m not. I only watch his show on occasion when he has an interesting guest, but I’m not a lib who hates him for being too conservative. It’s just impossible to ignore that he is a macho man brand. That’s not a negative, it’s just a fact.

In fact I made the meme below in response to all the anti-Rogan posts that are on his subReddit. Half the people on there are haters. This meme is dated to the Covid days, when Rogan was deemed “Hitler of the week,” (as Matt Taibbi puts it) and there was an orchestrated media campaign to remove him from Spotify.

And let me throw in another Joe Rogan meme since I’m on a tangent. It’s based on Rogan having ex-Navy seals as his security while Trump had some short women bumbling with their guns during his assassination attempt. One commenter accused me of being sexist in this one. What do you think?

HOW TO RED PILL YOUR DOG

Above is the original meme of the video at the top of this article. You can see how any of the memes on this page could be turned into a YouTube short. This wasn’t very popular among the right-wingers on Political Compass Memes. They didn’t catch I was also making fun of liberals. A liberal dog that bites your throat when talk bad about the FBI? This is hilarious because the left have historically been opponents of the oppressive force of government agencies, but there was been a shift where Democrats (not really the left) are now government agency lovers.

The above meme hits on the pun of “groomers.” Child groomers versus dog groomers. Gay groomers corrupting their children has long been an obsession with conservatives and has converted into their trans obsession in recent years.

Macho military man Pete Hegseth, who was just nominated Defense Secretary for the upcoming Trump administration, uses his star power to market right-wing soap shaped like a grenade. Has the movie Idiocracy come true?

I wanted to throw the above dog food meme in there, showing if you switched Slim Jim with dog treats people wouldn’t know the difference. It has long outraged me that the so-called Jerky Slim Jim, which sells a billion units annually, is sold to humans. This even being called jerky is debatable as it is a combination of chicken, pork and beef and has almost a pepperoni vibe. It has a slimy texture and is so chewy that half of the stick ends up getting spit out. I have fed it to dogs who ate most of it but also spit out the gristle. If this was re-branded and sold to dogs no one would know the difference. Why would anyone buy this when there is better beef jerky sitting right next to it at the gas station?

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‘Nuff Said!